I should not have to tell you why I do not support him. You heard him want to ban all Muslims, kill the families of our enemies, punish women who get abortion, make fun of someone with a disability, claim John McCain isn’t a war hero because he was captured, insult the Khan family, build his fucking wall, brag about doing whatever he wants to women because of his status, the list goes on…
At the end of last year, and for the first quarter of this one, I was running my ass off. Literally. I was down to a healthy 127 pounds and my body fat percentage was 19%. I was running on average 25K a week, sometimes 40K. But now I’m closer to my usual of 138 and 22%. Luckily, I eat pretty clean. Yes, I am one of those women, and was always that girl, that hated those girls/women who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. And let me remind those of you who regard me as chunky, I am 5’6”. I’m not happy that I have gained body fat back, trust me, but many appear to forget that I’m not a tiny Asian who only stands at five feet or less. I am well within the margins of being healthy and fit; I’m just not considered to be in the “athletic” column. But a lot of people I still meet say to me, “You’re so tall,” which is funny to me because I never considered myself tall. But many assume because I’m Asian, I’m not as tall as I am, so when they have the weight of 130 or 138 pounds in their mind, they think fatty.
Despite age being a factor, damn metabolism getting slower, and not exercising as much as I was previously, since who the fuck wants to go running or even go for a walk when it’s 115 degrees in Vegas, but I also got depressed. This happens to me a lot. Besides my constant battle with procrastination, I just get depressed. And depressed me is lazy. I’ve already attested that I am a horrible self-motivator, but combine that with my depression is even worse.
As the primaries continued, and Trump was building more momentum, not only did it aggravate the fuck out of me, but I got really sad as more Americans got behind him. And I’m not just talking about the outrageous Trumpers on Twitter, but my real friends and acquaintances. And to make it more difficult, they’re New Yorkers!
On the Monday before the notorious Access Hollywood tape, I posted this to my friends:
I’ve been pretty quiet about this presidential election here on FB, but I need to say something about it.
First of all, I was surprised to see some of my “Facebook friends” be supporters of Trump in the primary. My initial thought was, “You’re from New York, you’re smarter than that.” But low and behold, I found myself scratching my head as I saw a fair number of you “agreeing” with him.
I pride myself at being from New York. When people ask me, “Where are you from?” I definitely do not say I’m from Vegas, because I most certainly am not. My response to that question is always, “I’m from New York, but I currently reside in Vegas.” Despite being from upstate New York, which I know some city people will argue that I’m not a real New Yorker, but I lived in Brooklyn for five years and West New Yorkers are not real New Yorkers. (You’re pretty much from Middle America when you’re from West New York).
But New Yorkers, in general, tend to be more open-minded, and we base our lives on facts rather than artificialness. So I was quite perplexed that quite a few of you backed Trump. Even when I was home in July, my parents were talking about their friends/neighbors who supported Trump. My father said, “And they’re smart, I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I,” I responded and while thinking about all the others I saw repost Trump ads and articles.
Is it because he’s from New York? Did you guys think, ‘He’s a New Yorker, we should stick with him’? But Trump is the child that we wish we aborted. How did you even come up with the notion that Donald Trump would make a good president of the United States of America?
One Nevadan (who supports Trump) said to me during the primaries, “He’s different. He’ll shake things up.” Really? That’s a good enough reason to elect him as president of one of the most powerful nations in the world?
Listen, I understand that being a liberal-democrat, bi-sexual, pro-choice, Asian-American woman who does porn for her career, that I’m always going to be slightly biased, but anyone with common sense, which again, most New Yorkers tend to have, cannot vote for Trump.
Another publication, ‘The Atlantic’ has endorsed Hillary Clinton for President and they’ve only done so three times since their founding in 1857:
“We believe in American democracy, in which individuals from various parties of different ideological stripes can advance their ideas and compete for the affection of voters. But Trump is not a man of ideas. He is a demagogue, a xenophobe, a sexist, a know-nothing, and a liar. He is spectacularly unfit for office, and voters—the statesmen and thinkers of the ballot box—should act in defense of American democracy and elect his opponent.”
In addition, 375 of the world’s top scientists urged us not to vote for Trump just last month.
Just how, my fellow New Yorkers, how and why did you or do continue to endorse such an unstable individual? And if you don’t anymore, how can you not feel slightly like a moron for being on the deplorable side?
The response… Those New Yorkers defended their positions and said they would be voting for Trump.
And then the Tic-Tac-Grab ‘em by the Pussy Tape came out. But they did not flinch at it.
I would really love it if the women, especially the mothers, who are still supporting Trump, had a man grab them or their daughters by the pussy and then see how they feel.
And I doubt that if it was a celebrity woman who said, “I just grab men by their dicks and put them in my mouth. I can’t help it. They let me do whatever I want,” they would still be defending her.
Yeah, highly doubtful. You would slut shame her and demand she be hanged.
I’ve let this election get to me, as I think it has for everyone. What we have seen in this election has been unprecedented. (I wonder how often that word has been said this past year). But Trump inciting fear, anger, and hatred amongst his base has scared the fuck out of me.
At high school games, students held up signs “Build the wall!” to their opponents who were of a more racially diverse school.
The Second City improv group in Chicago reported this incident:
“The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was a man was sitting next to a Hispanic couple,” Kim said. “We asked a question to another lady, completely different lady, we said, ‘Hey, ma’am, what is something small that pisses you off, like getting stuck in traffic.‘”
The man, unsolicited, screamed out, ‘Sitting too close to a Mexican,’ while sitting next to a Hispanic couple.“
Or how about the latest incident of the Mississippi church burnt down and ‘Vote Trump’ was spray painted on the exterior wall. Granted, we don’t know if this was a Trump supporter or a someone trying to make Trump supporters look bad, but still.
All of these incidents are a demonstration as to why Trump would be a fear-mongering, demi-god who should not be the President of the United States. And the fact that he has so much support from Americans, is fucking petrifying. Facts and reason do not appear to matter to his supporters. They have placed him on a pedestal, deemed Hillary the devil, and that’s that.
I started to write this post before Halloween, and then I dressed up as a “Trump victim” for my costume. The response I got from one particular Trump supporter was worth waiting for, so that I could illustrate how irrational his base is.
I made the same joke on Facebook, that he would not grab my pussy because I was not a White woman.
So I’ll refer to him as Dick, since that’s what he clearly is, in this post.
Dick’s response: He wouldn’t grab it for fear of his hand turning black and falling off
Me: If that were even possibly true, then there would be plenty of people who lost their hands.
Dick: Many people have lost many things in your vagina, mostly dignity
Me: Thank you for being a perfect example of a deplorable Trumpet. I decided to be politically satirical for my costume, and you have to turn me into a diseased, nasty thing, that no one should even dare to go near, and try to make me feel bad about what I do with my body? I applaud you for being such a gentleman that lives in the 21st century.
Dick: The truth isn’t always what we want to hear, it’s mostly never nice and fluffy like the bullshit you’ve been spoon fed your whole life, but regardless of how hurt your little feelings are or how deflated it makes you feel about what you do, you can’t change the fact that it is still nothing less then the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth… one day you might learn to accept it and come back to the harsh reality we actually live in and not the fluffed up realm you pretend to exist in
(I luckily do have very liberal, democrat friends who were on my side and started chiming in).
One friend said: Sounds like someone’s dick is too small for porn.
Dick: Nope, trust me, America needs classes in society, we need homeless people, we need porn stars and we need millionaires, I’m not saying we don’t need them, I’m just saying someone who sweeps the floor at McDonald doesn’t hold themselves on cloud 9, neither should some whore who gets used and thrown back to the gutter with a needle in her arm, accept your place in society and the sooner you accept the world we live in the better off you will be
Me: Wow, now I am pissed. You are presuming to know who I am and how I perceive the world, when you know nothing about me. I take great offense when someone presumes to think that I’ve been granted a life of kindness and fluffiness. I fucking wish. I wish I felt like I was on cloud 9 for once in my life. But I have never felt this way, and sadly, I do not think I ever will because of the harshness of people like yourself. Your misconception that just because of what someone does directly correlates them to being a drug addict is false. I would much rather be bringing happiness to people the way in which I do, than being a stereotypical White man that is spewing hatred at an Asian woman because of her job.
Dick: Oh it has nothing to do with being Asian…and it has everything to do with your views about life and how the world works.
It’s called hep-c,hpv,hiv but that don’t matter, my tax dollars will pay for your health care to keep you alive after all your bad decisions and unwanted pregnancies, my tax dollars will pay for your abortions.
Another friend chimed in: Your tax dollars are specifically paying for her abortions? That’s really generous, actually. I might’ve misjudged you. Kudos to you.
Me: Tax dollars need to be spent more on education, specifically psychology, sociology, the importance of women, and integrating our schools. Having a more diverse school, leads you to encounter more people who do not think like you do, so that you will be less likely to have such a judgmental stance of those who differ from you and who make false correlations.
Dick: Riigghtttt like those women who want equal pay in the work place but can’t do equal work?
Women have a role, so do men, so do children and elderly, let’s not overstep our boundaries and take this “progressive liberal” shit too far…god made Adam and Eve, not Adam and steve
(Then there was a long, comical debate between Team Atheist versus Team Christian).
Dick: God never said he was all mighty, he is humble hence his gift of his only son to the sinners
Me: And your humble, God, would tell you to spread hate to those who decide to do whatever they want with HIS or HER life?
Dick: I’m humble, I understand MY place in society, a humble worker, and I don’t judge YOUR place in society, we need classes like I said, I just shouldn’t be forced to pay for the residual effects of your occupation or life choices with my hard earned tax dollars which are forcefully taken from me without my consent every week to pay for social programs being taken advantage of by non productive members of society
Me: I actually pay more taxes than you, so I’m the one who should be pissed about being taken advantage of by non-productive members of society.
And your argument really doesn’t even apply to me because I have the implant, I’m infertile, and I’m tested every two weeks, that I pay for out of my own money.
Dick: You gotta be on a first name basis with the butchers at planned parenthood
Me: As fun as this has been, I need to go be a whore now and make great money, that half will be put back into the system to pay for my abortions that are not covered by Dick. Yes, my whole goal for my career was to just to contribute more to murdering babies and prying tax dollars from the American White man, who simply has not caught a break.
Yes, I was angry at this person, but I was just more astounded and amused by what this person believes in. There were some other comical lines, my one friend was inserting through all of this, which made it even better.
But I wrote this the next day, and I realize this is a long Tumblr post, but it really is a perfect example of why Trump and Trump supporters scare and depress me about the future of America.
It was quite amusing to see the reaction of my “Trump Victim” costume yesterday. It was the perfect representation of the dichotomy that exists within our nation. One side is based in facts, while the other uses their race, sex, and religion to berate someone who differs from them.
Others insisted that I should just block this person, which I think I only accepted their friend request because they were mutual friends of someone I knew. I did not want to unfriend or block them because I believe it is important to show everyone how much hate that still persists in America. I think it is better to be informed, than be naïve to the anger that befalls women, those of color, those who do not believe a certain religion, those who are of not the same sexual orientation, or who’s views just differ from their own.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, their freedom of speech, this is what does make America the potential to be the greatest country on Earth. But the issue I have, are the false correlations that many people on the other side conclude all the time. Just because I am a whore, does not directly correlate me to be a drug addict. Just like if a person is Black or Latino, does not mean they are rapists. Or that all Muslims are terrorists. Yes, you are entitled to your opinion, but if your opinion is not based on actual facts and statistics, that is when I have to speak up and say you are wrong.
Not being open to others who differ from you, would be our species downfall. Our ability to communicate and be critical thinkers are just a basis of what allows us to make all the advances in science and technology, in which we have seen and that are still being explored. We are social creatures, and with all the ways we can move across our planet now, and the numerous ways we can communicate, we have more discoveries. The convoluted idea that we should shut ourselves off from each other in this 21st century, will not move us forward.
Just because of what someone does for their job, or what color their skin is, or their sexual preference, does not mean you get to pass judgement and ridicule them. Nor does it mean you know exactly everything that has happened to this person. To presume to know how another person lived, shows that YOU live in a distorted world.
Your humble “God” and his beloved son “Jesus,” does not teach you to look down upon others, even if you do think that they live in a lower “class” than you do. (Actually, as I alluded to last night about how much I pay in taxes, I’m pretty sure I can safely say, I’m on a higher socioeconomic class than you, if you really want to try to play that card).
Another of your false correlations, that just because of my job, I am therefore going to have several abortions, is again, not based in facts. And that YOUR specific tax dollars are going to pay for them, just shows how uneducated you are about our tax system. I do not have health insurance, and I make too much to receive any type of Medicaid or medical assistance, therefore, if I did have to pay to kill my numerous fetuses, I would have to pay out of pocket. I have never once been pregnant; I do believe I am infertile. But I have no aspiration to bring a child into this world that has people like you still in it, that is why I have the birth control implant. I would not want a beautiful life to be destroyed, ridiculed, and hated upon because of the closed-mindedness of others.
And what about the women who are not whores, but they have five kids by five different fathers, guess whose whore’s money goes to help educate and provide health care to their kids, that they don’t even want or take care of?
Whores do have a place in society. It is the oldest profession, which you should know since you are supposedly a Christian, therefore, you may or may not have read the Bible, which has A LOT of whores in it. We are a crucial piece to maintaining the happiness in this ugly world. We provide companionship. We are healers. We help stroke the ego of men, which as we know, must be constantly satisfied. Sex is primal. We need the release of endorphins to help get us through life. Jerking off with your hand is only temporarily rewarding; we need the intimacy of feeling another person.
You are the perfect example of the misogynist, White-American, heterosexual male, and hence, why you are a deplorable Trumpet. Men like you, hate women like me. You hate the fact that we can use our brains, our sexuality, and our bodies to profit from. You secretly wish you could do the same. My feelings were not deflated because you brought me back “to the harsh reality we actually live in,” or because you made me aware of what I do for work. Sorry, I’ve been outside of my body and mind, cracking jokes with Jesus and God on cloud 9, and in that instant of saying I’m untouchable and people have lost their dignity in my vagina, I was finally brought back down to Earth and realized I’m actually a whore. Thank you so much for being the voice to tell me what I am doing with my own body and my own life. Phew, I thought I was going to be stuck up there for eternity.
I am not a diseased-infested whore, or thing, who makes people’s hands turn black, and go to Plan Parenthood every week to kill my fetuses. I am an educated woman, who worked fourteen years in restaurants, and who got looked down upon by society because I was “serving” them. Who was told, when I was six, that my life should have ended in the trash in Korea. Who got picked on and teased by the White kids in grade school. Who was looked over for not being pretty enough or affluent enough in middle and high school. Who was raped twice. Who was told again and again, by boys and men, that I am just good enough to fuck, but not to love. So guess what? I just became a smarter woman and used that to my advantage to become a high-class courtesan. Go ahead and hate me with your misogynistic misappropriations. Your intransigent views are the embodiment of the disease that America has not been able to rid itself as of yet.