I swear I will compose more positive posts following my team coming in first, in our first CrossFit competition, but I’m tallying my expenses from my Chicago tour/Exxxotica trip this morning and I can’t help but be disappointed.

The only reason why I decided to go to Chicago is that I’m usually successful there, however, this was before SESTA/FOSTA.  My last trip to Chicago was in early December and I was only there for a few days. Again, I don’t do overwhelmingly well wherever I tour because I apparently scare people, but I don’t leave Chicago feeling awful about myself (like I did when I toured Denver and LA).

I also really want to get the word out about my running for Team ASPCA for the NYC marathon.  I stupidly spent $330 on those damn beautiful flyers, so I figured I better advertise myself and get the word out it.

But SESTA/FOSTA has really fucked things.  Oh, and there were only about 150 people at the Sex Worker March in Las Vegas, so yeah, no one cares about whores.  A dead hooker is just a dead hooker.

Anyway, I did have one previous client reach out to me saying he would love for me to come to Chicago and book me for two appointments.  That helped sway my decision towards going.

After finally deciding to go to Chicago, I then spent money on advertising.  And I’m not lying about this, I only had two inquiries about seeing me. One filled out my form from my website and had a friend of mine as his reference.  I checked with her and she warned me, “Don’t see him unless you absolutely need the money.  Oh, and because you’re Asian, he will probably get racist on you, after he cums.”

Fucking great.  As much as I could use the money, I am not going to put myself in harm’s way.  I’ve done that too many times in the past and I’m not going to put up with some old, white, racist piece of shit.

The other gentleman was very interested in meeting me.  I checked his reference, asked what time worked for him, and then he asked if I accepted PayPal.  Boooo.

I do not accept PayPal because PayPal has been notorious for not giving performers their money.  A cam model I know has battled with them for months to get her payments.

(Oh, and right before I left for Chicago, I got a notice from Google Wallet saying I do not comply with their standards).

The gentleman did apologize to me and introduced himself the last day of Exxxotica.

So I only had two appointments set with my previous client.  After we set up the times we would see each other, he then sent an email asking, “Also, would it be copacetic if I pay you for 2 hours on Saturday but break up the appointment so that I do one hour Saturday and one hour on Sunday or Monday?”

I read that as he’s going to pay me for both appointments in one day.  I told him that was fine and didn’t think much of it.  I should have paid more attention or asked him a specific question so it was clear.

I was scheduled to see him at 14:30 on Saturday, but he texted me in the morning and said he was running behind schedule, and asked if we could push it back to 16:00 or 16:30.  I told him 16:00 would work.  But traffic was bad, so he ended up not getting there until 17:00.

He kindly brought some champagne for us to share.  He asked me what I liked beforehand, so we enjoyed the champagne and caught up.  But our appointment went well over an hour.

I’m not a stickler for set times, that is the one thing about not working for an agency.  I do enjoy conversing with my clients, especially with previous clients.  It’s nice to catch up, but if we go well over the designated time, I do take a mental note of it, especially those clients who don’t tip or send gifts off my Wish List.

I will say, I can be too nice of a person.  I have to think this is my business.  If I was a lawyer, I would bill for my time.  I wouldn’t make exceptions.

And this is why I showed up so late to Exxxotica on Saturday.  I was planning to get there earlier that day.

Before he left, he mentioned he was short 3 in the envelope and that he would bring the rest tomorrow. After he left, I only counted 7 bills. I sent him a text saying there was only 7, thinking maybe he thought there was 9 in there, and he replied he would bring the rest.

The next evening, I saw him again and I left Exxxotica around 18:15, which was fine because it was the last day and everyone was already packing up by that time.  But he was twenty minutes late, but he did bring another bottle of champagne for us to share. I used the restroom and only counted 3.

I really do hate discussing donations; it ruins the mood for both myself and the client. That’s why everything is settled beforehand.  And even the agency I worked with before, didn’t have us barter with our clients.

Shyly, I brought up the fact that there was only 3.  He told me he thought I agreed it would just be 1000.  I pulled up my emails and then caught the error.  I told him I misread his email.  Since he used the wording of “two-hour appointment” I didn’t read it as he wanted a deal.  He offered to leave, but I encouraged him to stay.  He drove all the way out to O’Hare to see me and I appreciated his desire to see me again and double booking me.  I told him because of the miscommunication on both our parts if we could agree that he just sent me 100.  But we agreed he would give me the 2 bills I intended to receive.

Our appointment went over again.  He said he would look for an ATM downstairs and I told him to text me if he did.

I didn’t receive a text that night.  I texted him the next morning inquiring about it and letting him know which payment processors I accept.  He said he would look into it and asked when I was leaving my hotel that Monday, thinking he could drop it off to me before I left, but I left that late morning.

I sent him an email a couple days ago asking again.  Nothing.

Just sent him a text this morning, and he apologized and said he is out of town.

Now I do like this client. I appreciate his business, especially since he was the ONLY client I saw, and we’re both from New York, so we tend to discuss being back there.  And I know this was a miscommunication, but I can’t help but feel disappointed.

Just a note to all you clients out there, please don’t be looking for deals from us.  I think all of us are really struggling after the SESTA/FOSTA bills passed, some more than others.  For the month of May, I only had three appointments.  And if you’re not educated on what SESTA/FOSTA is, please educate yourself.  Here’s a great YouTube vid:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrP0tvoUgd4

And to give you an idea of what my trip cost, and this isn’t even including a plane ticket, which I would have had to pay for, but my friend paid for my ticket in miles, so that was one less expense.

Advertising:  $82.50 (I split this in half because I can use the advertising for Vegas for the rest of the month).

Uber to McCarran w/tip:  $22.07

United baggage fee for banner:  $150

Hotel for 3 nights:  $693

Red Bar for dinner:  $70.00

Snacks:  $10.00

Gibson’s dinner:  $115.00

Uber back home w/tip:  23.57

Pet-sitting:  $150

Outfit and shoes:  $84.35  (I only bought one outfit and a pair of shoes on discount- the one I posted on Twitter that many liked, and the other two days I wore outfits I already had).

Total:  $1400.52

I made $330 from selling my photos at Exxxotica, $40 of which came from a guy who had his own photos printed and wanted me to sign.

And $1000 from my appointments. So that means I am currently out $70.52. If I do get the 200 from my client, I will at least have profited $129.48.  But oh, I have to pay James at Galaxy Publicity, so that means I’m negative again.

Imagine if I had to pay for my actual flight, Uber rides to and from O’Hare, and dinner for that first night; I didn’t have to pay, my friend did, and he also brought me to my hotel and picked me up from it.  And I didn’t even pay to bring my banner back home because it will be cheaper to ship it to me.

I will say that when I told people how much my photographs were, which was either $20, or $30 for the ones that were professionally matted, I didn’t have anyone question why they were so much.  That was one difference between the crowd in Chicago and the crowd that came to Edison, NJ.

But the next time you want to bargain with us, please keep these calculations in mind.  It’s not cheap for us to come to these events or for us to tour. And when you’re a mediocre porn star who’s mind and physicality appears to frighten most men, it’s even worse for us because we don’t profit like the real stars do.

Please consider that we are professionals too.  Do you ask your lawyer or your therapist for deals?  Or if you own your own company, do you pay your employees less per hour if you decide to pay them in advance?  Probably not.

Just keep that in mind and please educate yourselves on all the legislation that has passed or is in the works that is damaging to us.