I began to write this post on Thursday, following the election.  It was a lot angrier since I was in the second stage of grief (hence the title of this post).  I’ve since moved on, somewhere between depression and acceptance.

I do not accept him to represent me and those who share my concerns.  But I have to accept that this is going to probably be a shit-storm for the next four years.

Coincidentally, my birthday is the day before inauguration day, January 20th (Bill Maher’s birthday is also the 20th).  So I’ve made the joke that it will be my last.  Maybe it will be Bill’s last one as a free man, since who knows if our president-elect will have him locked up for the statement that his father is an orangutan.

Just what the fuck, America?

I actually did not see any of this new season of “South Park,” until just binge-watching it the past couple days.  It’s hysterical, but also fucking sad, because it’s so applicable.

You know that feeling when your heart sinks, when someone breaks up with you, or you find out they cheated on you?  Yeah, that’s what I felt last Tuesday.

I cried that night, Wednesday, and a little bit on Thursday.  San Diego was a waste.  There were a few inquiries, but only one serious one, and he ended up not being able to keep the tentative appointment we had set up.  I made nothing.  But I suppose it was a good thing I didn’t have any prescheduled because I was in no mood to be sexy and pretend to be happy.

I’m terrible at being fake. Most of my fans know that.  I’m not a bubbly person, and have difficulty pretending that all is right in the world.  The drawback of caring too much, is that I’m affected by the people I care about and the world I live in.

Being from upstate New York, I have a lot of Republican friends.  Some of them had enough sense to dissociate themselves from their nominee, instead of clinging to it like it was their damn blood child.  But others were avid Trump supporters.

The wife of the couple I got my German Shepherd from, is one of them.  Am I slightly angry that she, and others, fell into the bullshit Trump was feeding?  Yes. But it makes me sad more than anything else.  She reposted something from Breitbart.com.  Another denies Steve Bannon is a racist and white supremacist because he listened to his Sirius Radio show for years.  (He’s a white, heterosexual, Christian male).

44% of Americans get their news off Facebook?!  Are you fucking kidding me?  I’m a fucking Millennial and I don’t get my news off Facebook.

We really do live in world where facts and science have no meaning.  They cannot deter people from what they believe is correct.

And the planet.  Oh, fuck!  The planet!  How the fuck does America have an actual group of people who are climate change deniers? When did actual science become something that people may or may not believe in, like the Bible?  Now the Republican party has complete control. Fuck.  Just fuck!

I’m disgusted.  Simple, pure disgust.

Then I have people who are ridiculing the protestors, saying they’re “crybabies” and that we’re all entitled liberals.  And the president-elect said they are paid protestors.  Where is my entitlement?  Where is my money?  I’ll protest every day for the next four years if I’m going to profit from it.

People don’t like to be called out as racists or bigots.  I reposted this article on Asian-Americans being harassed after Trump’s victory, and telling people to check their white privilege, since it’s white people laughing at those who were crying after the election.  And the response I got from one Trump supporter was “We’re not all like that.”

I said, “Oh, good, so you’re not a blatant racist because that’s a little less hateful than being a silent racist. You support a racist/bigot/misogynist/xenophobe backed by the white nationalists.

And his reply, “I’m not racist at all or I wouldn’t like a lot of the shit you post or think your attractive so you stuff that bull shit.”

Me:  Trump is a racist. You support Trump, you support his racist and bigoted ideals that he based his entire campaign on. If you voted for him because you thought he was going to change our country for the better, not only were you conned, but you also said I don’t care about all those people he targeted. I can blanket Trump supporters as being racists and bigots because they are.

There is a correlation between those who voted for him with how far they have traveled out of their area. If you haven’t moved from your small little town, you probably haven’t interacted with those who differ from you. Again, this is just facts. People base their entire view on others by what the media tells them, and now our president-elect. People who say “All Muslims are terrorists” have probably never met a Muslim before and based their entire emotional judgement on 9/11 and the war on terror.

Maybe you’re not an outright racist telling people to “Go back to their own country.” But you stand on the side that says that to others. You support the side that wants to return to white purity. You glorified a demi-god that has threatened the rights of our democracy.

Trump supporter:  Trump is not a racist first off, and second you sound like your more pissed off that your party lost. Trump was awarded the Ellis island award. Which is as far from being a racist as you can be.

You can take your opinion and shove it up your narrow ass, he doesn’t want to return to white purity, what your saying it total and utter bullshit you have no facts and quantitative data to support your claims I on the other do and telling me I support white purity, is asinine.”

Me:  I love how the Trump supporter is telling me to shove stuff up my ass. How very adult of you. There are numerous facts that show Trump is a racist. How about the fact that the federal government sued Trump for housing discrimination. Second, he continued to deny the current President was born in the U.S. and started the birther movement. Third, we have him on tape saying racist rhetoric. Fourth, the alt-right group is just a more “politically correct” term for white nationalists. The fucking KKK supports him. Really? Remain on your white purity side as you tell me to shove my narrow viewpoints up my ass. That, clearly shows who has a narrow mind and who has no sympathy for the fear people are now feeling.


Let me explain something very clear to me.  If you’re a white person and are attracted to Asians, you can still be a fucking racist.  You can be black and be racist towards me.  Just because you jerk off to me, does not mean you’re not a racist.  You can still be a racist to other minorities.

And let me bring up the subject of moral licensing.  Malcolm Gladwell brings up this mental glitch in his first podcast.  People denied racism was an issue on the base of, “But we elected the first black president.”  We do something “good” so we can justify doing something “bad.”  Like electing a racist after the first black president.

The white people who are laughing and ridiculing us for crying after we elected the racist/bigot/xenophobe, have probably never heard the words, “Go back to your country!” yelled at them before.

I’m scared.  And I’m sad.  Knowing a fair amount of people who have come here on student visas to study, and knowing the ridicule they already receive, there is no question we are going to have a decline of students wanting to study here.  So now we’re just going to get dumber, because instead of colleges and universities being one of the few places where we can interact with those who come from different countries, those students are not going to feel safe to come here.  I wouldn’t.

Great job, America.  Great fucking job.  You wanted to make this country great again.  And now we have a Trump supporter, Carl Higbie, bringing up Japanese internment camps on something we should look back to when considering Muslim immigrants.  Awesome, America.  Way to go.

There is this icky feeling that I haven’t been able to flush out of my system since last Tuesday. This feeling that men really do believe women are objects.  That white people have no empathy for people of color.  That others think those in the LBGTQ community should go through conversion therapy.  That they presume to think I’ve lived an entitled life just because I stand on the side of liberals.

I’m sick of being assumed that I am a bitch because I’m an educated woman who attempts to use proper English and grammar.  Because I’m direct with my responses.  Because I don’t smile enough.

I am not sorry that I do not conform to the narrow-minded view of what a woman should be.  I am not sorry I am not a subservient Asian woman.  I am not sorry for being a cosmopolitan, coastal liberal/New Yorker/Atheist/Environmentalist/ Animal-Lover/Porn Star/Whore who has the capability to use common sense, analyze facts, and have empathy for others who differ from me.

Women need to stop apologizing.  We need to stop right now.  Men can brag about sexual assault and become the leader of the free world.  We can do a lot more.  We can do it better than them, that’s why they’re scared of us. We can do more and we will.